OrdinaryBloke

This piece started out as multiple entries but every night I never finished due to some distraction in the house, exhaustion or just because it is winter here in South Africa and they don’t have heating in the townships!

I arrived at 10am, following a 13 hr flight via Johannesburg and after a few technical difficulties with the Vodacom people and the mobile modem , I was on my way to Khayamandi. The journey took me 35 mins and I was amazed how familiar it all was. It is not a new journey for me as Selwyn and I did it each day I was boxing training in the township of Khayalishta and staying in Khayamandi in 2005 but never the less it was a relief to find it familiar

As I drove into the township, Lily was in the middle of the road waving to me. That was a relief as I did not hold out much hope of finding anything once I got into the labyrinth of roads, jammed with the shacks and buildings.

It was fantastic to see Lily again, though characteristically her previous few weeks had been eventful to say the least and included being arrested, a court appearance and her mother dying. As we arrived at the front of her home, the first thing she pointed to was the damage that some intruders had done which she believed was related to the court appearance but more on that later.

Athi, Lily’s youngest daughter was home and it was great to see her . Nearly fifteen, Athi is a young woman now with a greal deal of poise, great communication skills and a certain elegance that is magnified by being very tall.  Lily has four living daughters with Athi and Tulile still living with her. I am very fond of the two of them. They are both very bright and have a great sense of humour which has got them through a lot of challenges.

That evening, myself and Lily ate dinner whilst Tulile, home from school, was cramming for an exam the following day. Lily and the girls are Seventh Day Adventists so not only was there grace before and after meal but then the bibles came out after the dishes were cleared. For the next 45 mins there was reading from the Book of Numbers in the Old Testament before a discussion on some particular points. Once that ended, the first of a steady stream of visitors started which is a constant theme in a township. The sense of community is massive and it is not unusual for Lily to receive 5-7 visits from neighbours throughout the evening. I have to admit it brought home to me the lack of conversational skills people have when they are surrounded by one way mediums such as the internet and TV. Each guest was warmly received and an active discussion would ensue about the comings and goings of life. It was engaging and highly enjoyable.

I went to bed that night with the temperature plummeting. I put on three layers of clothes, two pairs of socks and slept with the blanket over my head to keep warm. The township went from the noise of people singing hymns, drinking beer in the shabeens and the screams of domestic argument to total quiet by midnight. Quite literally you could hear nothing, it was real silence brought on by the need for everyone to be up early for work the following day.

The next noise I heard was Tulile leaving for school at 5,30am, a Monday to Friday neccessity if she it to make the journey and be in school on time. I was up by 6.30am and after breakfast with Lily we planned to spend the day together to get the beginnings of the book together. First of all we had a quick trip into Stellenbosch.

On arrival we saw that one of the streets had been blocked off by Police. It took Lily 2 mins to find out that two drug dealers had shot each other but in their quest for violence had ended up leaving their drugs stashes in their cars which were now been removed from the scene.

That afternoon, Lily and I sat down and we started her story. There were no provisios, escape clauses or “off the record”, Lily wants to it to be told and I am honored that it should be me that does so. We allowed the story to lead us and so it did when we were discussing her children and I noticed there was one name I not heard before. She then went on to tell me the story of her teenage pregnancy (she was 15) by a teacher when she had no idea what sex or love was. A traumatic birth followed (some saying the revenge of the nurses for what she had done) before Thembakazi was born with massive brain damage. Thembazai died in 1980, aged 5.

The next hours flew by as we discussed jobs, attempts on her life (there have been two), her parents, and her experiences under apartheid. It was fascinating and I have picked a clip to introduce the voice of Lily.

Lily tells me about the birth of her first child

That evening the house became busy from 5pm as people arrived to take a combi taxi to the Eastern Cape for the funeral of Lily’s mother. Young and old, they all crammed into her front room, waiting for a 7pm arrival, that eventually arrived at 11pm, before setting off for the 12 hours drive. It is a notoriously dangerous drive so extensive prayers and hymns were sung before departure and as I still had the microphone on caught the singing for you to listen to.

Hymn being sung

The following morning we were up at 4.30 am and in the car ready to go (after prayer of course) to King Williams Town in the Eastern Cape. Lily wanted to go the same route as the others but I wanted to go the N2 route as I thought it offered more scenery and would be safer. Lily eventually agreed but spent literally the first 30 minutes of the drive telling us the benefits of the N1 route before her daughters begged her to stop.

A small issue of a bird strike aside, the journey was uneventful but full of beauty. I drove for six hours before Lily said we must go visit her cousin in the township of Port Elizabeth. I didn’t feel we could say no but the voices of descent were louder from the back of the car. It was only after we agreed that I heard Lily say we had better hurry as her cousin was leaving to the same funeral we were heading to! We got off the main road and headed down a road, that became a track, that became a dirt track, that became a nightmare! 3kms in with the rocks bouncing off the car as we drove over them, Lily said it was a trap and bandits would now get us. I will admit to being slightly alarmed by this proclamation until I pointed out that nobody knew we were coming this way as it hadn’t been planned!

We arrived in the township of Port Elizabeth where many people who watched the images from the apartheid struggles of the 80’s and nineties would recognise. Today it still has its issues and there remains thousands of shacks, but there are also some beautiful houses nearby that demonstrate the commitment of the black South Africans to develop their community.

Three hours later and after 12 hours on the road, we arrived at the home of Lily’s sister in a township just outside King William’s Town. I had driven for 12 hours with a 25 minute break and I was in my bed by 8.30pm and alseep.

I was running errands for Lily this morning and arrived back at her sister’s home shortly before 1pm. Lily was still at church as Saturday is the main day for Seventh Day Adventists. The older members of the family were in the house when I arrived so I went on in and spent a pleasant time talking with them about Lily and South Africa in general. Lily then rushed in to say that it was raining so I was needed down at church to pick people up. The road was a quagmire but I got through the mud and did my taxi duties before returning to the house.

I have been asked what the reaction is to me in the townships. I have been overwhelmed with warmth and absolutely love being there. The older generation are so friendly and willing to talk and I have not been hugged so much than when I was at a family wedding as a 7 year old. Sure, you get the odd look wondering why you are there, but once introductions are completed it is nothing but friendliness. It was like this when I was first in the townships 7 years, four years ago and remains so today.

Tomorrow Lily’s mother’s body returns at 8am for the funeral and I will be there for the day to help were needed. We will be up again at 4am on Monday and traveling the 12 hours back again. It is an immense privilege to be brought into a family like this and every moment spent with these wonderful people is providing information for the book. Not only that but the difference of environment and priorities is refreshing my mind and providing inspiration for some interesting charity projects.

I will be back with more on Monday.